Adyashanti: What unenlightens you?

Adya gave part 1 of his online course based on the End of Your World. It didn't follow the book much, and wasn't on the topic about my question,
but he asked a good one: what is it specifically that unenlightens you?

My answer: experiencing an outcome that fails to meet my expectation. This has created enormous suffering from performing purely altruistic volunteer activities. Expecting people to benefit as a result of my energy, time, and devotion to ease their suffering lead to my own suffering. The attachment was so strong that undoubtedly I was suffering more than many that I was trying to help. I tried to call in, but of course the phones were jammed up. In fact It took 20 minutes to login - the server must have been overloaded. (Later - it was overloaded, and he made a big apology, there are 5 tekkies working on it, etc).

Important Adya teaching: awakening involves a process of "UP and OUT" he shows on the video, using his arms. Later there is a "DOWN and IN." This is exactly how Dorothy explained it in Dokusan last month.  When I examine this, I have not had an up and out, but an "opening and merging," where it seemed a space was created through which there was both an inpouring and an outflowing at the same time, perhaps corresponding to crown chakra. The down and in, if metaphorically the same or similar experience, was more of an "in and down," which I previously described as the feeling of groundedness (a word also used by Prendergast). When I examine this groundedness, it is the flow of energy between me and the earth, perhaps corresponding to root chakra. The copy of Adya's teaching by Dorothy is of interest, as it appears to lack critical thinking. I'm not clear that anyone can have exactly the same experience, as her depiction seemed to indicate. I can experience this flows of energy anytime I stop and allow them to direct my attention, and see that they are similar yet different.

Additional note on teaching:

Adya's website listed this as an outline for video teaching 3-7-12:

We will explore these topics and more:

•  The different levels of awakening and the types of challenges that are inherent in them
• Abiding and non-abiding awakening
• The meaning of purification
• How the ego tries to co-opt the awakened view and make it its own
• The challenges inherent in reentry (reentering and navigating within the dream state of everyday life)
• The masculine (transcendent) and feminine (inclusive) aspects of the awakened view
• Living in the fire of truth

There did not appear to be any significant correlation between this and the oral teaching. Very much in "the moment." Service or disservice? Avoidance or carelessness? Coming from heart more than mind? Can a more structured teaching result in more students transcending and realizing? Does anybody consider this direction of inquiry?