Beyond nice and positive

I just wrote my last post on the spiritualteachers.org discussion board. The subject heading, "Nice uplifting positive person," is an unusually active thread,

and 37 pages long! I wrote: The teacher who is beyond nice and positive probed me gently with subtle questions, and became a mirror that showed me something I hadn't seen in a while - my heart, and it was full, not empty. We talked about it, the presence of emptiness with fullness, or awareness with love, and it now occurs to me that this love - the love that creates and moves all of life and the universe - is what is missing from so many teachings, and what one (probably) cannot get from books or alone as a seeking self. Now, all of us going around in a perpetual state of empty awareness, 10, 25, 35 years, and teachers sharing their empty "truths" and not awakening anybody, are revealed: the heart has not been opened. This heart is just as wordless and unassailable as still, empty awareness, and just as necessary. Real, absolute, nondual awareness does not exist as one without the other. Now I'm in the process of allowing the ebb and flow of toxic karmic residue (as i call it) to ooze out, and waiting for the resolution of this paradox to come to me. There is no more seeking, trying, or working on anything. Thank God. (Inspired to post this under spiritual teachers also)

"Freejoy," immediately replied: No karma sorry to disappoint you. Haven't you been reading the Master Enigma? (Enigma is a senior member. They have entered hundreds, even thousands of posts).

I wrote back: Freejoy, thanks for your whack! I tried to exalt you for it, because it gives more clarity. Isn't it amazing how we battle each other. Even with a qualifier about my use of the word "karma" - claiming it as just my words, not claiming to be this or that - you completely miss the point and focus on the most mundane aspect of the message. That takes a lot of heart, lol. The clarity that comes from the short time I have been on this sight is now over. It has been useful, and now the time is better invested in other things. Or given in service? Or whatever! Thank God, and you for that. Keep whacking!

He was online, so he replied immediate: Better get out while you can
I think that is why God put me here. I am a puppet for the enlightened people. Some seem to need sex from me to advance their enlighten level. Some need other things. You need a whack.

Someone with a little dry humor who believes they can meet other people's needs, and who chooses words carefully to avoid love, or the Heart. Sure, I needed the whack. It good to have one's vulnerability tested, and to see where to put one's time and attention, or where not to put it. In that moment, I unravelled an unexpected emotional knot, then felt a wave of compassion for the writer of words that cling severely to negation and arrogance. Next I deleted my account.

Oh, before I deleted it, I left a little post suggesting that the site is cold and sterile, and that it needs more heart. Haha. Whacked you back! The games we play in this illusion.

I checked back later, and found this by "enigma": I haven't said there is no karma. I've used the term in the same way Joel uses it. What I have said is that it's not a payback for bad deeds.

That's the end of the spiritual gossip from spiritualteachers.org/