Friday, October 26, 2012

Old habits return after awakening

Some have said it. We awaken, enjoy a relatively perfect freedom or bliss for a while, then get grounded back in and take back on some of our old stuff. That's what's happening after 8 months. I look at it with interest, reassuring myself that I'm not "losing" the shift of awareness that places the flow of unity and infinity foremost in my mind. Not getting re-wrapped by the layers of delusion that my thoughts are real and therefore can pull me this way and that. Seeing through contentiousness and darkness around as just part of the play, and all of it through an open heart. That's the challenge, if there is any, to maintain the continuous sense of open heart. Now seeing Shantimayi's perspective that goes beyond the teachings, the personal, the letting go, the next moment, etc. All is well. So what are these old habits anyway? certain cravings, desire to experiment with things, thinking some experience matters more than another. Nothing that's going to hurt anyone or destroy me! Bits of worry here and there, sensing return of some conditioned response like need ng to make money, as opposed to stying perfectly in the moment always and letting the response come from the eternal moment. Stay inspired. Don't judge or let the inner critic prevail. No problems!

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