Dear Shantimayi, in response to your request for questions or topics, here are three that interest me and I hope could be of benefit to others:
ADDITIONAL NOTE INSERTED HERE--who are all these teachers who have nothing but gentle, loving, and affirmative reports of their teachers kindly bestowing grace and an "invitation" to teach? Gnagaji who published flowery exchanges with Papaji on her website, none actually confirming that she was "awakened, or should go and teach. Where is the stern Master who drives students to relentlessly go deeper, and the deeper one goes the harder the push? Here you go! But to get the fullness, must listen to the audio, which I should transcribe, when I get about 5 free hours.
1. Moving beyond the extinction of personal suffering - what's next?
2. Letting go - is it something we do, or something that appears once
we have tried everything else?
3. Could it be that self-acceptance is the most important thing we can
do to open to the great heart?
A few words regarding the basis for my questions:
1. Its my observation that attaining personal freedom from suffering -
"Nirvana" - is not the final enlightenment (Lankavatara Sutra) and
there is risk of getting caught in a self-serving bliss that does not
allow one to open to compassion for others. Moving beyond the personal
brings the experience of suffering of the One, not suffering as mine
or yours, and this opens our hearts fully to compassion for all
beings.
2. I never let go, and I always exerted full effort, and am content
where I am with no desire to change who I am. The masters teach both
effort and letting go, but reading into their teaching as "just let go
and do nothing" is a way to get caught in delusion and perhaps
half-way awake. I have references from Ramana, Nis, Osho, and I
believe your own teachings which emphasize doing over non-doing. Could
we say that letting go is not something we do, but something that is
done for us, or something that "becomes our experience" after we have
made every effort humanly possible to awaken to the truth of the
universe?
3. Personally I spent years examining, feeling, unhooking and
detaching every painful moment that came rising from recesses of mind.
I have looked at each spark so many times that there is nothing new
arising, and because of that no critical or judging narrator giving me
negative feedback. It worked. Now the only new arisings are that whch
are occurring right now, aways fresh.
I would really like to have a deeper or broader understanding - more
clarity - on even just one of these. Things are constantly deepening
for me. The value is not just your words but as always the
transmission that goes with them. I share these and many others
frequently now in discussions or satsangs and I don't find anyone with
capacity to go anywhere. It always makes me remember your teachings
and want to see you.
Love always, and light, Joel
Dear Joel, I will attend to your requests on Starr….Love you and thank you for your requests.
9-8-12 STARRMEDIA TRANSMISSION IN ANSWER TO question 1. SM took about 45 minutes to address the topic. Very affirming and kind, and also critical and harsh. She doesnt believe there is an end to personal suffering, or to the person.
MY REPLY TO the transmission:
On Sep 9, 2012, at 1:48 PM, Joel wrote:
> Dear Shantimayi,
> I was really, really honored that you took your time to address my
> question about suffering. I did have a note about it below, but even
> so its hard to put the heart of it into just a few words, so some of
> the meaning I fail at. I give you my deepest respect and love always,
> Joel
Dearest Joel,
I took it as you wrote it and I did read the notes below with the numbers indication the notes connected to the requests.
I think the most important point being to sink deeply into the freedom of non suffering and find out what creates suffering.
As long as there is a personal, there will be some kind of suffering, and even when one realizes Totality, the personal is not
eradicated….it is seen for what it is, a multi-faceted vehicle for navigating through the illusion of being…and yet being IS and does
exist.
LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR REQUEST
THANK YOU FOAR THAT
LOVE
ShantiMayi
8:10 AM (0 minutes ago)
to shanti
Dear Master,
I'm sorry to belabor anything, but I do beg your attention to my
experience for the past 6 months, for which I've been repeatedly
tested and challenged: Waking every morning feeling like a kid on
Christmas wondering what;s under the tree; absence of any inner critic
or judger; knowing that the next moment of experience will always be
the right one and that the hard ones give the greatest learning, the
learning never ends, the present moment is the result of every moment
in my past and those moments all make perfect sense now; nothing is
missing, nothing is here that isn't supposed to be, this is 24/7, and
I don't know if it will last another 5 minutes but it will be fine if
it doesn't. That's the feeling in this moment.
Perhaps there is a better way to describe that as "the end of personal
suffering" - I don't know. I feel the "next step" is already my
experience - that suffering itself doesnt end, the open heart
experiences the suffering of totality or "the all" as it comes to me,
but is not mine anymore, nor the guy's down the street. And if I get
hit in the head with a hammer, I feel terrible pain, but no inner
critic, judger, or lingering desire to beat someone up, I guess I
define suffering as an inner state of anxiety that is entirely
unnecessary, and not a reaction of the mind/body to events that arise
and depart. I look and I look and I look and I just can't find
anything but inspiration, and I don't find suffering that I can own as
part of my inner state. But maybe its the wrong word and there is some
better way to share it.
I guess I do hang myself on a hook by trying to capture that in a
single question. But your evaluation does make me look even deeper.
Both the affirmative and supportive words, and the words "delusional",
and "not mature".
Love always,
joel
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