We could be said to go through stages of needing confirmation of being spiritually awakened. The first might be that we want a teacher to tell us we are awakened to our true nature - that we are free. I was stuck in that stage in 2000, until I was out of it and the veil of illusion returned.
The next might be that we don't want to hear it, because it feels like a yoke, a big responsibility. I experienced that for a few months, until recently. It did feel good to get some affirmations along the way - "that's it," "you're lucky," and a couple "that's rights." But there have been enough skeptics and rejects too.
Now it seems it doesn't really matter, I am confirmed from within, and more importantly in this present moment of awareness. This is the beginning of it.
Yesterday Shantimayi somewhat disavowed that I am free of "personal suffering," as I had put it. Today Kosi told me, after I shared it in her telesatsang, that "you're awake! You know freedom. Maybe it's the difference between email and voice, idk. I'm driven deeper by Shantimayi, and content with Kosi. Every moment is a leaning experience, either way.
I have no idea "what's next" - the question I posed to Shantimayi, who somewhat negated that there is maturity in asking it. But I'm curious, and I will continue to look into it! It's all good:)
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