David Spero satsang and dialogue

Last night about 30 people assembled at the San Francisco Zen Center to attend satsang, and following a 15 minute meditation David opened by asking
if there were questions. I always have inquiries, but it was my first time to see him so I didn't want to be the first. But after 5-10 minutes of silence I raised my hand and after answering his query about my spiritual background I asked about suffering, and why some people long on the journey do not believe it is possible for humans to be free of suffering. I gave him a couple of examples, and asked how is it possible that someone can look inside another and tell that they are in a state of suffering. I don't recall what he said at that point - just that it was not particularly helpful in addressing the query.
I then shared my experience that I am not suffering, and that one friend, a PHD in East-West Religions and a long Buddhist follower, told me it is impossible that I am free of suffering because
only Arhats don't suffer, and "you are clearly not an Arhat."  I went on to say to David I have no claim of being an Arhat or being fully enlightened, but I do offer that I am free of suffering. I described this freedom as being content right now in this moment, with the feeling that nothing is missing and nothing is here that isn't supposed to be here, and that the present moment is the sum or
integration of every moment in my life, good or bad, and that to me is Grace. By a simpler definition Grace is the bestowing of favors or blessings by God, but it seems to be more than that for me. I know that I am not suffering, because I have suffered much in my life, and now I am not. There is no more internal critic or judger. I am inspired 24/7 and every day is exciting to awaken to, and the experience of what will happen in the next second is unknown and always interesting. Happiness or frustration go by like a cloud that never rains...the constant state beneath it never leaves. This has
been going on for 6 months I continued, and is similar to another experience i had years ago that also went on for months. i have no clue if i will continue to be free of suffering, I can lose it in the next moment, but it doesn't matter I'm content right now where I am i at. I said more, but thats the gist of it. He described me as a mirror to others, and said something about nobody knows what suffering is, or that who suffers or doesn't, a it's all about how we define suffering, statements of some sort that didn't add to or bring clarity for me. He then said "next" and some other seekers entered into dialogues with them. He was much more assertive and interactive with them...perhaps their queries were less complex? Side note: He is quite a character, one must go see him to believe it.
He attracts Bhakti types...there isnt a strong component of deep inquiry. Several sat with eyes clsed and seemed to be open to what David describes as his shakti. He's good with people but one must get
past incredulous claims of being God and Budda, which I did. He's genuinely awakened I believe, and is doing his best to be of service.
He offers love and heart in a controversial way. It then occurred to me to share further. I raised my hand and offered that...although I have an experience of not suffering, it is only a personal story. The fact is WE suffer, as a whole as a oneness of humanity, and that I experience suffering not as an individual but as a whole, as one interconnection. I feel my friend's suffering as pain in my heart. I finished by saying that I don't go around sharing this unless I'm challenged, which I am, and that is how I'm being tested now. (End of share with David).
My thought now is that theres no longer any doubt - I have looked and contemplated it too many times to arrive at anything other than the mind is freed from it. But again, who knows how long that will be? So I shared that with him, and seemed to get some sort of affirmation, although again not clear and not something that could pull me deeper.
I've been having this kind of experience with spiritual teachers since at least March, following a simple shift of awareness in February, and a few others long before that. I have to credit ShantiMayi, Annam, (and Adyashanti although I had only 1 dialog with him, I studied him intensely) for assisting me in deeper opening of mind and heart, which now seems - I hope but cannot yet know - is fixed in permanence. How does anybody ever truly know this? Is there another event, or is it
just something one goes with, and accepts that "this is it?" Just let it go, just be, I will no doubt hear. Hmm, does that mean a cave...or a monastery? - so to speak, metaphorically, laughing at such
assertions, having let go, appreciating the "mind machine as quite capable of running things and inquiring further, just as the heart beats and brain cells experience the world and express our internal
processes in the world around us. All of it I see as..."a miracle miraculously projected" (perhaps my favorite Buddha quote, in the Lankavtara Sutra)  The only practice now is to keep looking, and feel in the body that the heart is open. If not - stop, and be still until the contraction, the heaviness is released. Doing that, won't the deepening continue and never end? .Let the the mind continue it's joyous explorations of how to understand and communicate with people - and that's essentially
all there is, all that is left!