Gangaji - Papaji said stop thinking

Gangaji only comes to the Bay Area 2 or 3 times a year now, and we saw her last night in San Rafael where we volunteered with setup and taking money.
There were over 50 volunteers, and 250 attendees. It was the typical big stage, with 5 questioners taking up much time and space. I had a story to share, spinning on it, raised my hand once, but the truth is I'm no match for a brightly lit stage in front of a large audience. Amazing how people can go up there and say things like "I don't know why I'm here" or "I just wanted to say hi." Really strange.
I watched her face go flat 2 or 3 times as seekers on the stage lamented or laughed at themselves. She must have gained some satsang karma, I think. No guru should be subjected to the whiny drivel and idiocy that night. Perhaps she really never was a guru. I read her letters to Papaji on her website, put there like trophies or as some kind of certification for enlightenment, perhaps, none of which affirmed that she had awakened, or instructed her to teach. "He told her verbally," an old follower told me. However I do believe from her presence and wisdom that is quite awakened..
So for us deep thinkers/inquirers who might need a slightly more intimate environment, we have to pay the big bucks to go to a retreat limited to 60 people, or something similar. Akemi and I had a big discussion about finding a spiritual teacher who is both profound and accessible. Fighting to have a voice in front of hundreds of people, paying $100 an hour, or travelling to India does not accessible a teacher make, and there is no guarantee about profundity either. "The inner teacher," they say, but what if the inner teacher is saying to find the profound and accessible teacher? Or guide or collaborator? Or just some human on the planet that's gone the entire distance, beyond mind-melt, ahead of me, and isn't afraid to consider thought provoking inquiries? Hmm.
One recent satsang, numerous 1998-2000 including one small group with dialog. Videos, interview in "Conversations on Nonduality."
Wisdom 7, Heart 6.