A man and woman race to awaken

I asked Akemi how she views her process of awakening. She wants it, but has a totally different concept of how to get it.
Her way is to do some meditation and find the moment in everyday life, and it will come to her. She insists she has no fears, but admits she also doesn't have a big desire for it, and laughs when I tell her that I'm making a schedule and setting up the right conditions to awaken. She asks "if I awaken tomorrow, will you know it?" I tell her "I think I will, but if I suspect it then I'll rush you to a realized Master to confirm it." We laugh and I tell her about Suzanne Segal, the woman who awakened at a bus stop and went to a psychiatrist because she thought she had gone crazy. The shrinks called it "depersonalization." It wasn't that simple, there was also a sad side to it.

April 1 marks the time when I'll be finished with my last scheduled project. From experience, I know that having nothing to do will make my mind spin down and open up. We each have a different way to prepare. Not for enlightenment, but for becoming receptive to it. Others try to tell us what to do, but nobody can even show us the jumping off point. I had to go deep inside, overcome the unknown, and lose myself, the teachings, and all concepts of everything just to become receptive and start to open. That's the only part I can really plan. The rest will come after that.


I never wait for anything to come to me, especially something rare and wonderful like becoming that which has no needs and is no longer the doer. I told Akemi that we should have a race to see who awakens first. She giggled, and made me promise to wait until after she gets back from her trip to Japan.

I revisited the story about Susan Segal, to be sure I'm getting the facts right. April 1 will be the 15th anniversary of her death from a brain tumor. It was eerie reading an interview of her not long before her diagnosis. She said: Spiritual practices imply that something has to be done in order to become the Vastness or in order to see that the Vastness has always been the doer...I don't see any techniques or practices to do. She realized the vastness spontaneously, without a teacher, without an apparent desire for it. It makes me think - never will the exact same path be travelled again.