on the planet and it's good for everybody when someone awakens. But now I'm contemplating a meeting I directed today, a project to help people by educating them about the health care crisis in America.
The conference room at the Redwood City Library was perfect, except the microphone wouldn't work. People brought food and drinks but forgot cups, and spoons for the yogurts. I did all the real work - booking the venue, scheduling speakers, preparing my speech, publicizing, and making www.coalitionfor2014.org. Even with the glitches everything went well. Yet I've been working on these projects non-stop for a year, have become a volunteer director in a national organization, and nothing changes. Service to others is now a trap, a one-way street on a road that takes a detour from the truth. Spending 60 hours to prepare for a couple of 2 hour programs no longer appeals or even makes sense, because there is no measurable outcome. Reviewing a post from the past, I see how much I struggled with failure even then. It's good for my karma, I think.
It's interesting that desire to ease the suffering of others evaporates when faced by a desire for the infinite. The past desire to help others, one at a time, was easily overcome by the desire for freedom. But now, the call to serve is ramped up into an ocean of desire to fix the whole broken system; such a catastrophe health care in America has become. There are roots to the problem that those in power refuse to see. There are solutions that require generations of cultural change, and others that only come from bloody revolution. Peaceful change that happens quickly requires people to work together. Where did I get the belief that peaceful and rapid change could happen on earth? Now it's more than a belief...I have experienced large-scale disharmony directly.
The only thing left to do is to let go of it and prepare to be consumed.
I emailed Janak just now. In 1998 I watched him practically awaken in front of me with Shantimayi and her Guru Maharaji in northern India. Now he has a sangha in New Zealand. Any wise word can make a difference.I'm picking up my bow and arrow and walking toward the path.
