Thursday, July 4, 2013

Update on being back in the human experience

What does that mean? Having attained the realization of the essence of who I am, and understanding the true nature of things nearly one and a half years ago,
I recently wrote this in an email:
 
Anxiety, fear, love, gratitude, none of these are permanent states, each serves a purpose. When our awareness is greater and we have touched the absolute of permanent essence, they simply become background noise, and they serve us/me and I don't serve them. I don't fight or hide any emotion that comes my way. If I have a fear I know its as impermanent as a cloud and I see it with interest and find that it has a purpose and serves me. Anger is an essential human emotion, when it is appropriate it drives us to get things done and make quick decisions when we need to. Having realized the true essence of who I am, and becoming grounded back into my humanness (Adya says "down and in") it looks insane to me when people try to reject an of these emotions and believe they shouldn't exist. It also causes a lot of suffering!
 
If you believe that you should never be anxious or have a fear, then when you feel such, you cannot accept it and you suffer! In the presence of fear or anxiety I do not suffer. I simply allow the flow of that to go wherever it takes me. The anxiety is not my anxiety it simply is. It doesn't bother me, or if it does bother me (I never say never) I just change directions to be free of it. Even better to say "I am moved" as the choice is so spontaneous and in the moment that it doesn't feel like I've made an  effort at all. I love that about ShantiMayi and also Gangaji they admit to having these experiences of humanness. Having said that, I am afraid of nothing. When a fear comes, I simply respond to it and am guided by it. (I typically laugh at it! Hopefully you will understand these things some day, if you haven't already :)))))

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