"Nobody here knows freedom!" said someone who had been on the journey for 20 years. "Well, can I say something about that?" said me.
"Sure, what is it?" they said.
"I have the feeling that nothing is missing, and everything that's here now belongs here. I'm content and I don't need to be anywhere else, mind or body. It's with me all the time. But I think most important is I don't feel bothered by the inner critic or judger anymore. Because of that, I would say I know freedom."
The conversation drifted loosely around that for a moment and then the next person shared.
Some weeks later the topic came up again, and I shared the same thing, because it hadn't changed any. Everything else changes, but not that.
"Nobody's free from suffering," said a man at the end of the table, banging his fist. "I've seen a lot of teachers but never one that convinced me they don't suffer. I've been on the path for 35 years, and I still suffer. It's impossible to be free from suffering in life."
My immediate reaction was doubt, so I looked more deeply, and contemplated the complaint. Deeper I went, until I saw that in a way he was right. When my personal story of suffering ended, a new sensitivity came - that of suffering of the all, of the one, of the residual suffering of the totality of human consciousness. It is not "mine or yours" and it doesn't even feel that way.
I reported my new awareness at a subsequent meeting. He looked at me with a nod of satisfaction, and in a sense we had a moment of connection. However, I was more sensitive to his inner pain than I had been. That is what spiritual deepening can bring.
A woman sitting next to me spoke up. "Then why are you here?"
Good question!
Lots of answers to that, finally leading to the ultimate - the breaking of the chain of causation - the absolute unknowingness of why. That's what stops and opens us, breaking that chain!
I am here because I got dressed, got into my car, and drove here...because I'm inspired to be here...because I am consciousness experiencing one of the infinite possibilities of discovering itself...because I have compassion for people like you who are still suffering (oops! that wouldn't go over very well, would it? Must be careful about pointing others back to themselves). Etc, etc.
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